Freedom From Clutter

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Do you have mental clutter?

Hello and welcome back!

Is there such a thing as mental clutter?

Yes. Clutter, in any form, can be a burden to the life you are creating today. Whether it is many ideas that clutter your mind or negative thoughts, if it does not benefit, serve or nurture you it is clutter.

What to do with negative thoughts

There is no donation center I know of that will take this kind of clutter. But you can still apply a process for de-cluttering. When you sort through your material clutter you usually have a story that goes along with the  items. You may know when you bought an item, how much it cost or who and when someone gave it to you. Images and memories  about the item may provoke certain feelings and the reason it can be challenging to release it.  Mental clutter is the same.  Negative thoughts get justified why they are taking up space in your mind and will even demand you need them. You may even state, “Well, how will I know when something is good or bad if I de-clutter these thoughts?” You will know by how you feel not by what you judge. Sometimes you aren’t even aware the thought is there, it becomes background noise, yet will still provoke feelings usually negative ones. Ask yourself this one question throughout your day whenever you catch yourself in thought, “Would I choose this thought I am thinking right now and give it to my dearest friend or would I be willing to say it out loud?” If the answer comes back, “No” then it is clutter. Now because no donation center will take these thoughts you will have a different strategy to put in place. Challenge the thoughts that you catch, and become familiar with what you think. After you catch a thought the phrase to use is, “so what” to whatever you think, this brings the emotions the thoughts provoked down a notch. “So what” allows you to think of what you can do about it. It takes you out of victimhood. Here’s an example; “I just bought another item when my place is already overcrowded.” “So what. What if I call Freedom from Clutter for help?” Or “I just ate a muffin and I’m on a diet.” “So what. What if I start again at the next meal?” Our thoughts can make an event or situation  scary, tragic, or a disaster when in reality it is not. You are still here, breathing and making choices, are you not? Then nothing is a catastrophe, nothing. After so many “So what” you’ll become calm enough to know what your next move will be. When you become aware and accept what does not serve or nurture you, you will do something about it. I promise. Becoming aware of your thoughts is enough to de-clutter the ones that do not serve you. So when your mind starts acting up tonight when you want to sleep say, “So what” to whatever comes your way. Sweet dreams!

What to do with all those ideas

An immediate image or story comes to mind with each idea that comes through.  Usually followed by your thoughts. My suggestion is to write the ideas down. Keep a pad and pen with you at all times. Daily or weekly look at these ideas you have recorded and recognize if any of them are opportunities to take advantage of. If so, take action. Writing things down will help clear your mind. Another trick is to give your complete attention and focus to one task at a time.  This is very freeing to a person with an overactive mind. For example, when you get in the shower feel the entire process. If you notice your mind wandering just bring it back into focus. Notice how the water feels on your body, how the soap smells, what the floor feels like under your feet, what do you hear, and notice your breathing.

Wishes of freedom from clutter to you all!

~Sandy

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How to Simplify You Life in 1 Easy Step

Hello and welcome back!

How to simplify your life in 1 easy step.

Stop doing what does not work. Yup, it is that easy. What’s that, you say it must be more difficult. Nope. Seriously. I promise. I know it sounds like it would be a no-brainer to stop doing what does not work, yet there is so much information on how-to change, shift and transform circulating and being produced. Maybe I have a secret that allows you to do it this time! Read on…

Identify 1 behavior that does not work?

I am asking you to identify only what you have control over. What do you do that clearly does not work, that does not make you happy. Pick one action, behavior or habit, it can be something small and simple, or annoying and large. Okay, got it?

Now what?

What would the opposite be of the one item you chose? For example, let’s say you want to lose 10 pounds and the habit of eating ice cream does not allow you to have what you desire. Now pick the opposite of the behavior you chose, which, in this case, would be to stop eating ice cream. Accept this habit is not letting you fulfill your desire, and that you truly want to release 10 pounds.  Another example may be  that you want to live in a peaceful environment, but you have too much clutter. The opposite could be to make decisions and take action on clearing your clutter.

Next step…

Now, decide what effective strategy and action steps you could put into place that would make your desire happen.  Get creative. For example, for eating ice cream, you could find an activity to do during the times you would have been indulging. Or you could decide to no longer purchase ice cream, or you could find an alternative to ice cream that would still allow you to happily fulfill your desire of transformation,  without creating guilt, frustration, or self-loathing. For the clutter your action plan may be to handle, sort, or clean out 1 pile, 1 drawer, or 1 item a day.

Do this until…

Practice your new pursuit until it becomes your new habit or the change you desire has been fulfilled. Here’s the secret! Make it more important to celebrate each step or each time you commit and focus on your desire than when you do not. Enjoy the journey along the whole route. When you tackle any goal in fear, that you “should” or “should not” be doing whatever, when you force or demand a specific outcome, or you hurry to the finish line, you lose the opportunity to notice all the best parts. By noticing and celebrating each step YOU did and took allows you to open yourself up to curiosity and an interest into what is taking place within you as you shift. Imagine a flower bud blossoming as you. By focusing on what you accomplished naturally brings a sense of wonder and adventure. Every time you take a step toward what you desire and you recognize each success, even the tiniest ones, you allow the sense of freedom, joy and enthusiasm all along the way. That daily momentum is what keeps you going when rough waters hit.

Keep going

Once you feel secure and your new habit is firmly in place move onto something else that you desire to shift, transform or change.  The progress you continually make will increase your confidence muscle. Take baby steps when changing habits and most importantly be gentle with yourself and for goodness sake CELEBRATE!

Much peace and love to you all! I would love to know what you chose, please let me know so I can support and cheer you on!

~Sandy

A quote to share ~

“Your life will change only when you decide to change it. ”

~Gary Zukav

 


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Do you live with Mr. Disorder?

Hello and welcome back!

Living with Mr. Disorder.

He comes into your home, but does not allow you to have any guests over, he likes you all to himself. He wants your full attention, and even though you find him annoying and needy you give in. Unfortunately to keep Mr. Disorder you may neglect you friends and family. Because of Mr. Disorder’s disruption you can’t concentrate on anyone or anything else anyway. He is making you tense and grumpy, but instead of kicking him out you snuggle up with him in your sweats and watch TV together. Sometimes you stay away as long as you can, spending more money than you have, or maybe you remain at the office until you’re exhausted.

What has he brought into your home?

He brought you chaos and dirty dishes. He brought mounds of dirty clothes and unfinished projects along with promises he’ll get to them, but never does. He left a stain or two, he denies it, on your floor and has mixed piles of paper with some of your important documents and bills. He brought games he doesn’t play and DVD’s he doesn’t watch. He leaves the shower dirty, along with spots on the mirror and he doodles his name in the dust. He doesn’t get rid of the clothes that don’t fit he just throws them on the treadmill he brought. He has a ton of books and magazines, but you’ve never seen him read. He brought roller skates and a bowling ball, but he doesn’t leave the house. He has several unpacked boxes. He says they were Aunt Mitilda’s things before she died. He doesn’t like any of it, but was appalled when you suggested he give them away. And he nearly bit your head off when you implied the gifts he received, but never used go to a consignment or thrift shop.  He takes up so much room he is suffocating you.

How do you deal with Mr. Disorder?

He doesn’t like vacations so he makes you stay home. You don’t host anything, because he doesn’t like company.  You don’t get invited out, because he makes you late or hides the invitation. He hides your keys as well. He begs for more stuff so you give in, although furious you are wasting your money. He talks you into finding bargains and going to yard sales to buy others cast-offs, he calls it a treasure hunt you call him a pain. You find yourself buying promises of happiness hoping to stop Mr. Disorder from making you so miserable. He keeps hiding Freedom from Clutters phone number.

Here is how you evict Mr. Disorder.

You must go slow or he’ll get suspicious. Take baby steps and create habits to change yourself and rid yourself of Mr. Disorder. As you gather the clutter put it in a box or bag and immediately put it in the trash or take it to a donation center before he notices it is gone. Keep doing this just a few minutes every day. If he notices the open space and cleared counters and table tops he may demand more stuff. Tell him you’re selling the place. You have to get it presentable. You want him to have faith and give you a little support. Focus your attention on how it feels to have open space, to have clothes that look good and fit you. Notice what it feels like to take action and give to others who don’t have much. How nice it is to park in your car in the garage and to know where your keys are. How happy being organized and clutter free feels. And the next time you are in a store and you hear Mr. Disorder demanding more stuff leave him on a shelf for someone else to bring him home.

~Sandy

 

 

 

 


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The easiest way to get organized

Hello and welcome back!

The easiest way to get organized…

You can’t organize clutter. The best piece of advice I could give anyone, client or not, would be to get rid of the clutter first before even trying to get organized.

Just get started…

I promise you by taking the first step the momentum will build. It is okay to go slow so you don’t burn out, and it is okay to complete a room, desk or closet before stopping. Whatever systems works best for you. Set a timer and begin.

What stops you…

Clutter is a pile or piles of delayed decisions. It is far easier to shove clutter into a drawer, closet, or garage than to decide what to do about it. As costly as storage units are it is still far easier to bring it there and cram it in with the rest of your clutter than decide what to do about it. Why?

The question, “what-if” won’t leave you alone…

Imagine you’ve moved the same boxes from home to home without unpacking them or using any of the items stored, yet you still keep them. You may think you will need these items some day. That means your belief system is set on lack. Perhaps you purchased items that promised happiness and you’re still waiting for the happiness to show up. But guess what? It isn’t coming through things. Happiness will be achieved once you release the clutter not add to it.

When to hire Freedom from Clutter…

When you decide you want only in your life what will serve and nurture you. It does not mean you become a minimalist, unless that is your desire. It does mean you will go through this with a professional who will lovingly help you through the journey. It is not costly financially or emotionally nor is it a timely process once we begin. You will experience freedom as you have never felt before and that my friend is priceless. I will help and support you in making decisions once and for all. Your reward is a clutter-free organized life!

If you have any question I would be more than happy to help and answer them. Just add a comment and I will return a reply toot sweet. Or leave me feedback on what you are having issues with so I can address them in the next blog.

You may not be able to control the chaos life brings, but you can have and enjoy peaceful surroundings.

~Sandy


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How is perfectionism hurting you and what you can do about it

Hello and welcome back!

Studies show disorganization, clutter and ineffective habits to be destructive to our health, especially women who experience a spike in stress hormones when inundated with too much stuff. Science proves in the Chaos and Complexity theory if you have too much order a system cannot diversify and adapt to change. If you have too much chaos the system cannot hold together.

All of it is created by perfectionism. Perfectionism is usually the dominating force behind the lack of or the inability to change. Perfectionism is the believe that if we live, act, or look a certain way we would fit in, be accepted and liked. We think this will allow us to avoid the pain of blame, shame and judgment. There are many labels we use such as, excellence, high achiever, idealist, and high standards and they all come back to perfectionism.

Perfectionism, no matter how you define it, sabotages our efforts to find healthy habits and rituals. When you’re in perfectionism mode you’ll find yourself using the word “should” along with justifying, excusing, or explaining yourself. Procrastination, lazy, or creative, may be the labels used for a chaotic life, however this is still perfectionism. When you find yourself distracting yourself with mindless activities, you are avoiding life because you don’t know how to fit in, be accepted and liked. When you are in the clutches of perfectionism fear is at the root. With fear comes unhappiness, disappointment and uncertainty.

You can break free from perfectionism, which will make for a much happier life. For true change, the key is find an area or habit that doesn’t work and do something different with or about it. To break the habit of perfectionism you need to find and practice something that benefits and supports you over and over and over until that becomes your new habit or ritual. Once you get the momentum going toward positive change you can move onto the next area or habit you would like to alter or remove. Consistency is as important as the change or peace you are striving for. Continuous practice creates progress. Progress creates confidence and confidence creates a happier you!

Peace ~ Sandy


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In The Know

Hello and welcome back!

I wanted to continue the talk today about ineffective habits, explaining why these habits may be difficult to change. Hopefully, you have been succeeding with last weeks assignment, but if not, I will add some more encouragement. If your good, I’ll see you next week. I took on last weeks assignment myself, because I grasp the idea; what we teach we most need to learn. I certainly had something in my life I wanted to change. At the end I’ll tell you if I did …

We all have something in our lives that doesn’t work, support or benefit us. I could get into the details on how an unwanted habit started, but I realized it isn’t necessary. Plus I want to focus on where we are and where we want to go versus why it began or where it originated, as it serves no purpose. You know where you are, you know where you want to go, so now decide how you will get there.

Thinking back to successful changes I’ve created in my life I recognized I couldn’t do it and worry about it at the same time. I needed to remain focused on what was working and what felt right. As you search for ways to change you may find a system, idea, or plan that may have parts that work and parts that don’t. It is up to you to figure out what is best for you. You may pick and choose between several different plans to come up with one specific system for you. Like an eye doctor, ask yourself, “which is better, this one or this one?”

Here’s a simple example; A friend, after the birth of her child, wanted to record all her child’s milestones, but kept forgetting & instead scattered notes throughout the house. She couldn’t quite make it a habit to retrieve the baby book, record according to the books suggestions. She was afraid she’d miss out on something special for her baby. We found a solution that worked, we installed a calendar in her bathroom to record her child’s first year. Plus others could jot down something to the child as well.

If you truly want relief from a habit, or remove one entirely, or change it to benefit you, you have to keep at it. You get to where you want to be by being persistent, taking consistent steps toward what you do want, if you feel your way toward the prize you will be the victor. If you expect to win you will.

I tried to quit smoking 3 times before I was successful. The first time, when I found out I was pregnant, I quit cold turkey. Once the baby was born I began smoking again. The second time someone made a promise to me if I quit smoking. I quit and a year later the reward wore off and I began again. The third and final time my doctor asked me if I would consider quitting. When she asked me it felt right. So, I promised I would quit before my next visit, a year later. This time I prepared and expected a successful outcome. I researched all the different ways to quit, from the gum to meditation. I interviewed people who had been successful at quitting and I recalled all the things that worked in the two years I had been smoke free. After deciding I would use a product (the patch) to help me I picked a date, it was six months after my appointment. I acknowledged my biggest worry, which was I may gain weight, but instead of dwelling on the fear I quickly came up with a plan, again recalling past accomplishments, and put it in place right away, before I quit. I stayed focused on everything that felt good, on what was working, and on May 5, 2013 I celebrated my eleventh year anniversary being smoke free! And the challenge I took on last week changed today!

You can have any habit from losing your keys to continuously running late or needing to shop less, whatever it is if you follow these step you can accomplish anything too!

1. You can’t do it and worry about it at the same time. Decide to release worry.
2. Recall earlier accomplishments and what worked for you in the past.
3. As you are determining your plan to change what doesn’t work feel your way to your sweet spot. If something doesn’t feel right it may not be for you, tweak or adjust it or try something else.
4. Be consistent. Continually checking in with how you are doing and celebrate every step!

You got this!
~Sandy

 

 


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Ask Sandy How to…have a successful life!

Hello Sunshine!

We’re here in this life to find our true self, to embrace our one & only uniqueness, we’re also here to find the joy in being this person. We, unfortunately, have been going about it the wrong way. It is astounding how misplaced our thinking has been. We’re searching for outlets outside ourselves (excessive gambling, drinking, eating, etc,) to make us feel better, we’re making people accountable for our happiness, & comparing ourselves against others versus celebrating our individual self. We’ve also been creating our own misery, our suffering has been self-induced, yet we blame everyone else for it. Think about it. Every experience & everyone we meet is to teach us about ourselves. Yet because we haven’t learned what to do when we experience negative emotions & how to cope we resist what is which causes our own self-created misery.

Let’s say you get out of bed & stub your toe on a chair. You don’t have a tantrum & punch the chair, or try to change the chair, or manipulate it (if I give you a dollar you won’t not hurt me again, right?). Nor do you call your friends to piss & moan, or drink or shove down a candy bar. You hold your toe until the pain subsides (allow yourself to feel what you feel). You learn your lesson by either turning on a light, moving the chair, or keep shoes by the bed. And you move on with your life (never to suffer that pain again). If you continue to stub your toe (creating your own misery) your lesson was not learned (resisting what is), you’ll suffer the same consequences until you learn your lesson. Doesn’t it make sense to learn it right from the get-go?

Well, life is exactly the same way! Someone says something that irks you. It stings, gives you an ouch inside, now you can either lash back, which will result in nothing good, nothing. Or remove yourself knowing that person was a messenger to wake you up to something inside that needs your attention. Take a deep breath & just allow the feeling to be, perhaps seeing what it is teaching you, if you don’t know that is okay, at least you honored your feelings. Then ask yourself if you can let it go. If you answer yes, then say lovingly “I release you.” If not, give yourself a few more minutes & breathe deeply. The next & most important step is to reward yourself with something soothing & comforting to you, but nothing outside yourself. Something safe.

All too often we want things & people to be different then what & who they are & that’s okay, not everything is going to be to your liking, but it is not your responsibility nor your business to change anyone. Instead of getting attached to outcomes you can not control you learn how to cope with what is. I’m not saying let someone punch you, you are responsible for you & your safety. Honoring yourself means you love all of you & that means even the yucky feelings you experience, otherwise you love yourself with conditions. Plus once you commit to honoring you you’ll notice the things that once bothered you don’t anymore. The real upside to coping is you don’t seem to attract disappointment or frustration. The trick is to go within when things & people aren’t what you want, not look to outside outlets to distract you. To feel what you feel, see if something is there to learn, let go & reward with inner joyful things. Once you have the skill down the reward could be to leave an unhealthy relationship or job or to learn a new skill or loving you. By working on your inside world versus trying to change your outside world you gain more clarity then you could ever imagine. New ideas flourish because you are removing old stuck energy allowing room to move & groove.

No one has control over anything or anyone nor does anything or anyone have control over you. So why we continue to search outside ourselves to find us is baffling. You have been right here all along waiting patiently for your return. Welcome home you. Peace to you all.