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5 Steps to rid yourself of the unwanted!

Hello and welcome back!

Do you want to rid yourself of an unwanted, harmful, or negative habit or repetitive cycle that just doesn’t work? Are you willing to do what it takes to get you where you want to go or be? If you answered YES! than let’s get started!

1. Know you are in charge and responsible for changing or eliminating the issue, habit or problem that doesn’t work.

2. Decide what it is you will change or eliminate.

3. Create a clear and concise plan.

4. Let go of the outcome.

5. Carry out the plan, no matter what, forever.

1. Know you are in charge and responsible for changing or eliminating the issue, habit or problem that doesn’t work. It is your choice. If it involves another it must be their choice as well. They will need to create and follow their own plan of action. No one else can tell you what isn’t working or how to change it only you can do that. You may want to follow another if they did what you are attempting, but still tweak it to fit you. What another is willing or unwilling to commit to may be different for you. Go in with the attitude you have the strength to do this, even if you don’t fully believe it, trust you will figure it out. Every one is unique, but we all posses the ability to change and be different. Finding and doing what works takes honest insight and courage. Is it your turn? If you are still maintaining an enthusiastic or curious spirit continue on to step 2. 

2. Decide what it is you will change or eliminate. Knowing what isn’t working in your favor or to your benefit and why you want to eliminate or change it. You will refer back to your why often. For me, I had a goal of optimal health and emotional well being. It wasn’t so much about the number on the scale, although a pleasant side effect, it was about changing the part of me that didn’t think I was worthy of optimal self-care.  Ask yourself, what is the self-image I am upholding? How is it working? What self-image would I prefer to uphold? What does it look like? And how can I get there? Understand if you want something to be different then YOU have to do something differently, Still on board? If yes, continue to step 3.

3. Create a clear and concise plan. Record anything you’ve done in the past that either worked or felt good, but that you didn’t keep up with or stick to. Recall if you’ve ever attempted to change or eliminate what you are working on now or something similar, what is it you will commit to this time? Since I quit smoking twelve years ago I considered and relied on my action plan then for my success today. I even recognized and praised myself for my efforts toward making good health a priority back then. Perhaps, to create your plan, you can look at other areas in your life where you are successful. What is it you commit to, how do you uphold it, or how do you keep it a priority, utilize your own successes and bring them to your new plan. Maybe look to others to see how they manage their priority’s and then incorporate or tweak it to fit your plan. You can create a one step plan that you are willing to commit to or use an entire page, it doesn’t matter, you know what works for you and what doesn’t. Remember, you can add, tweak and adjust your plan as you go; the important thing is to carry out whatever you decide on. It is the action you take that is crucial to your success and to feel empowered. Do not let another deter you, if others try to sabotage your efforts, it may be because they have their own demons to discover or work through. You can stay true to your commitment despite what is happening around you. Make the choice to stay on course. Continue on to step 4 if you are still following along, oh brave one. 

4.  Let go of the outcome. Holding tightly to specific outcomes or results can offer challenges and derail your success. Let’s say you want to lose twenty pounds and you follow your plan precisely. A month later you get on the scale and are down three pounds, but had expected a different result. Instead of accepting the amount, or adjusting or tweaking your plan, or celebrating the loss, you may become discouraged and abandon the plan and yourself. Or let’s say you lost way more then you expected and to celebrate you indulge in a cheat meal or two. Know what it is you want, but let the results be what they are. Find the day to day rewards instead. I am visual so I used colorful star stickers for every day I followed my plan and moved forward toward positive self-care. Once I received seven stars in a row I indulged in a small trinket for myself. I also created a joy jar. I recorded anything that surprised me, encouraged me, and when I jumped another hurdle, as the papers piled up the more self-confidence I gained and if I ever felt discouraged I would re-read them. Find a way to pat yourself on the back, create daily or mini celebrations, and let go of the outcome. It will never be over anyway, so learn ways to enjoy the journey.  I still recognize and celebrate once a year for quitting smoking and treat myself to something nice. You’re almost done continue on! You can do it!  

5. Carry out the plan, no matter what, forever. Don’t ever abandon you and remember temporary pleasure or a quick fix is not going to get you to what benefits you. You wouldn’t reward an alcoholic with a few beers after abstaining for a month. Whenever I refused  sugary deserts I would say, “I could eat ten cupcakes easily, but I choose not to because I am on a mission.” In order to be, act, or do differently you will need to carry out your plan. Refer to your why back in step 2. You may prefer, at times, to go backwards, but when you hold your priority in the forefront of your heart you will choose to go forward more times than not. Be honest and know where and what your limits are. Over time, as you gain more momentum, it gets easier. Remind yourself when tempted you are not withholding or missing out on anything except what is best for you. Practice creates progress, progress creates results, results create self-confidence, and self-confidence keeps you practicing. Get out of your own way by changing your focus, instead of focusing on “I haven’t” change it to “I will.”  The answer isn’t to push harder, you want to ease up and trust what you need will show up in the perfect time for you and it will. You can do this, have faith in your abilities, and trust yourself! 

Much peace to you my friend!

~Sandy

Copyright 2014 by Sandy Lucas

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In The Know

Hello and welcome back!

I wanted to continue the talk today about ineffective habits, explaining why these habits may be difficult to change. Hopefully, you have been succeeding with last weeks assignment, but if not, I will add some more encouragement. If your good, I’ll see you next week. I took on last weeks assignment myself, because I grasp the idea; what we teach we most need to learn. I certainly had something in my life I wanted to change. At the end I’ll tell you if I did …

We all have something in our lives that doesn’t work, support or benefit us. I could get into the details on how an unwanted habit started, but I realized it isn’t necessary. Plus I want to focus on where we are and where we want to go versus why it began or where it originated, as it serves no purpose. You know where you are, you know where you want to go, so now decide how you will get there.

Thinking back to successful changes I’ve created in my life I recognized I couldn’t do it and worry about it at the same time. I needed to remain focused on what was working and what felt right. As you search for ways to change you may find a system, idea, or plan that may have parts that work and parts that don’t. It is up to you to figure out what is best for you. You may pick and choose between several different plans to come up with one specific system for you. Like an eye doctor, ask yourself, “which is better, this one or this one?”

Here’s a simple example; A friend, after the birth of her child, wanted to record all her child’s milestones, but kept forgetting & instead scattered notes throughout the house. She couldn’t quite make it a habit to retrieve the baby book, record according to the books suggestions. She was afraid she’d miss out on something special for her baby. We found a solution that worked, we installed a calendar in her bathroom to record her child’s first year. Plus others could jot down something to the child as well.

If you truly want relief from a habit, or remove one entirely, or change it to benefit you, you have to keep at it. You get to where you want to be by being persistent, taking consistent steps toward what you do want, if you feel your way toward the prize you will be the victor. If you expect to win you will.

I tried to quit smoking 3 times before I was successful. The first time, when I found out I was pregnant, I quit cold turkey. Once the baby was born I began smoking again. The second time someone made a promise to me if I quit smoking. I quit and a year later the reward wore off and I began again. The third and final time my doctor asked me if I would consider quitting. When she asked me it felt right. So, I promised I would quit before my next visit, a year later. This time I prepared and expected a successful outcome. I researched all the different ways to quit, from the gum to meditation. I interviewed people who had been successful at quitting and I recalled all the things that worked in the two years I had been smoke free. After deciding I would use a product (the patch) to help me I picked a date, it was six months after my appointment. I acknowledged my biggest worry, which was I may gain weight, but instead of dwelling on the fear I quickly came up with a plan, again recalling past accomplishments, and put it in place right away, before I quit. I stayed focused on everything that felt good, on what was working, and on May 5, 2013 I celebrated my eleventh year anniversary being smoke free! And the challenge I took on last week changed today!

You can have any habit from losing your keys to continuously running late or needing to shop less, whatever it is if you follow these step you can accomplish anything too!

1. You can’t do it and worry about it at the same time. Decide to release worry.
2. Recall earlier accomplishments and what worked for you in the past.
3. As you are determining your plan to change what doesn’t work feel your way to your sweet spot. If something doesn’t feel right it may not be for you, tweak or adjust it or try something else.
4. Be consistent. Continually checking in with how you are doing and celebrate every step!

You got this!
~Sandy