Freedom From Clutter

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Get out of your own way

Hello and welcome back!

When we believe our negative thoughts and attach our identity to them there is a ripple effect that stretches far and wide. By taking the negative thoughts and believing that what they say is the truth of who we are we bolster the energy behind it which is toxic to ourselves and others. Whenever you feel anything but love, joy, and peace you are living from these thoughts, from a false sense of self. To understand the warning signs we need to recognize when we form any kind of negative judgment, feel strong emotions, and use the words, should, shouldn’t, must, mustn’t, never and always we are building a dam and stopping life’s flow. Labels are another tell tale sign we are in life’s way. The labels we either assign to ourselves or heard from others and believe they are the truth about who we are leads us on a downward spiral and further away from our true selves. When we believe these labels and negative thoughts or the stories our minds spew we doubt our abilities, we second guess our decisions, we make excuses out of fear, we suffer, and feel powerless. These negative thoughts make everything so complicated that we eventually disconnect completely from the truth. Instead of questioning or not believing this insane mind chatter we support this false identity by using emotions to emphasize the truth behind these negative thoughts. “It’s raining, now my picnic is ruined.” Feeding this inner thought pattern means you believe the rain is somehow your or someone else’s fault and lash out. Allowing our thoughts to immobilize us of having a loving and peaceful life permits the cycle to continue going round and round creating more and more inner and outer dysfunction.

For an even better understanding I’ll go back to when the thoughts began. The ego needed conclusions, answers and reasons, to our experiences that we tied strong emotions to. Due to these reactionary conclusions the ego designated a self-image, believe it or not, to keep us safe. What causes us to get in our way of who we really are is when we believe we are this false self and that we need saving. We’ve been brainwashed by our own thoughts. If we all knew the simplicity of life, and how we are here to cooperate and help each other there wouldn’t be all the drama that people have gotten addicted to. We are love, peace, and joy. That is the truth, everything else was made up to somehow protect us, but caused destruction instead.   

The way to get us back to our true selves and release the chaos and stress these thoughts created is to deal with facts only. Leaving off the verbs, the second half of sentences. For example with the above sentence, “It’s raining,” by leaving off the judgment, “now my picnic is ruined”, leaves a gap, it allows an openness, a space for solutions. By not tying a story, verbs, or emotions to the truth allows only the truth to emerge. “It’s raining.” You lessen the hold these thoughts have on you by simply not believing “now it’s ruined” just see it as a story, a judgment, your mind created. The true self accepts the rain and finds a solution or makes the best of the situation. The false self gets in its way with emotions, negative thoughts, and a story. 

Here is a formula for any thing you want to be better prepared for or whatever you find undesirable and want to change without using a story or emotions. By using the five “W” words; why, what, when, where and who to your planning or desires. Use it, apply it, practice it until you simply plan without excuses, or self-doubt, or second guessing yourself or getting wrapped up in stories and emotions.

I’ll give you a general example. Let’s say I want to plan Thanksgiving. Why am I planning? I am planning for the Thanksgiving holiday. When? Two months from now on Thanksgiving Day. Where? At my daughters house one hour away. What? I will bring dessert, I’d like a new outfit, and would like to bring small gifts or plan activities for the children. Who? There will be eight adults and four children. And since I’m bringing dessert I know one loves pumpkin pie and another likes apple. No emotions involved, just a simple plan. I can now get out my calendar mark the date and make a list for the needed purchases I can pick up over the next couple of months.

 

Let’s say your planning for a new job. Why am I planning? I am in the process of getting a new job. When? My desire is to have a new job within the months. Where? Anywhere that is fifteen to thirty minutes travel time, one way.  What? I will spend one hour or less today updating my resume and print off several. I will search the area for possible employment opportunities until I find one. Who? I will let others know of my search. I will use a hiring agency if necessary.   

Notice how emotions don’t play a role when  you use this formula. There is no talking yourself out of anything. It is action oriented versus emotionally driven. Give it a try. What do you have to lose, except the stress those negative thoughts create! Hooray! 

Peace ~ Sandy

Copyright 2013 by Sandy Lucas

     


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Throwing You a Lifesaver

Hello and welcome back!

I am inviting you to automate your life with the routines and habits that work for you. When life is filled with chaos, draining activities, and habits that don’t work what you get is a stress filled life, which will lead to a sick life and I don’t want that for you. To change this way of life, you’ll need to recognize what isn’t working. So grab a pen, a piece of paper and find a quiet spot. You are about to get honest with yourself. I want you to be aware of any mind chatter that appears. During this exercise you may hear your mind using the word “should” along with some defensiveness, explanations and excuses. Any change will cause some ego confusion which is fine just don’t get caught up in it.

Okay, ready? Take a few deep breathes and as you become quiet, ask the questions below, hear the answer, and allow your pen to simply record it. As you become aware of any mind chatter just bring yourself back by repeating the question. Become repetitive, ask the question, hear the answer, record it, ask the question, hear it, record, ask, hear, record. Once the answers stop flowing freely move on. 

On the first list I want you to ask, “What do I enjoy? What brings me peace?” On the second list ask yourself, “What would I like to incorporate into my life?” On the third list ask and record, “What drains me? What doesn’t bring me peace, makes me insane, or I don’t enjoy?” 

Whenever I am not experiencing a peaceful, happy, or joy filled life, I see it for what it is and know it is time for some soul searching. I created these lists to allow my true self to communicate with me, to find out what was going on within. As I get honest and tune in these lists have been eye opening. Without the lists I wouldn’t know what needed changing or how to get me back to my natural happy state. I hope it is helpful to you as well.

The following are a few examples of what I experienced. On the third list, what drains me, I noticed someone had asked me to do something, but the list showed me I didn’t want to. Another item was a “should” I thought I was supposed to do it, but deep down hated. Another one was a very old familiar habit that no longer worked for me in the way I had first intended. What I noticed, when I am willing to release an item, the solution, if needed, shows up. For instance, one time I wrote “Dieting”. This surprised me because dieting had become a way of life for me, but what the list showed me was how complicated I made it. Once I released it, an inner knowing appeared, I was to eat when I was hungry, eat the foods my body recognized and to do those two as often as possible. By releasing “dieting”, listening and applying what my true self relayed to me, the pounds melted away! Sometimes the ego, the mind chatter, has its own way of doing things, but can also add to your stress. My true self is what recognizes my needs, I found this works best to quiet the little bugger.

I’ve seen some things from the first list, what I enjoy and what brings me peace, disappear, yet they were important to my happiness. So the list has allowed me to see when I am getting away from what I need. And the second list, what I wanted to incorporate, was eye opening as well. One time it showed me a desire I had tucked away many years ago, but was now ready to reemerge.  

The final step is to figure out how to eliminate what drains you, what doesn’t bring you joy or peace. To keep your stress level to the bare minimum it is important to protect your peace and happiness. In some cases you won’t need to do anything, but just decide to let go. Another one may have gotten too complicated and may need to be released until you see it through renewed eyes. One may no longer serve you. Maybe you can hire someone to do the things that drain you. If you think you may upset someone remind yourself you are not responsible to act, say, do or be a specific way to make another comfortable or happy. It is your happiness and comfort level you are responsible for and in control of. It is time to have a life you enjoy and the place you find peace.    

Peacefully ~ Sandy

Copyright 2013 by Sandy Lucas