Hello and welcome back!
When we believe our negative thoughts and attach our identity to them there is a ripple effect that stretches far and wide. By taking the negative thoughts and believing that what they say is the truth of who we are we bolster the energy behind it which is toxic to ourselves and others. Whenever you feel anything but love, joy, and peace you are living from these thoughts, from a false sense of self. To understand the warning signs we need to recognize when we form any kind of negative judgment, feel strong emotions, and use the words, should, shouldn’t, must, mustn’t, never and always we are building a dam and stopping life’s flow. Labels are another tell tale sign we are in life’s way. The labels we either assign to ourselves or heard from others and believe they are the truth about who we are leads us on a downward spiral and further away from our true selves. When we believe these labels and negative thoughts or the stories our minds spew we doubt our abilities, we second guess our decisions, we make excuses out of fear, we suffer, and feel powerless. These negative thoughts make everything so complicated that we eventually disconnect completely from the truth. Instead of questioning or not believing this insane mind chatter we support this false identity by using emotions to emphasize the truth behind these negative thoughts. “It’s raining, now my picnic is ruined.” Feeding this inner thought pattern means you believe the rain is somehow your or someone else’s fault and lash out. Allowing our thoughts to immobilize us of having a loving and peaceful life permits the cycle to continue going round and round creating more and more inner and outer dysfunction.
For an even better understanding I’ll go back to when the thoughts began. The ego needed conclusions, answers and reasons, to our experiences that we tied strong emotions to. Due to these reactionary conclusions the ego designated a self-image, believe it or not, to keep us safe. What causes us to get in our way of who we really are is when we believe we are this false self and that we need saving. We’ve been brainwashed by our own thoughts. If we all knew the simplicity of life, and how we are here to cooperate and help each other there wouldn’t be all the drama that people have gotten addicted to. We are love, peace, and joy. That is the truth, everything else was made up to somehow protect us, but caused destruction instead.
The way to get us back to our true selves and release the chaos and stress these thoughts created is to deal with facts only. Leaving off the verbs, the second half of sentences. For example with the above sentence, “It’s raining,” by leaving off the judgment, “now my picnic is ruined”, leaves a gap, it allows an openness, a space for solutions. By not tying a story, verbs, or emotions to the truth allows only the truth to emerge. “It’s raining.” You lessen the hold these thoughts have on you by simply not believing “now it’s ruined” just see it as a story, a judgment, your mind created. The true self accepts the rain and finds a solution or makes the best of the situation. The false self gets in its way with emotions, negative thoughts, and a story.
Here is a formula for any thing you want to be better prepared for or whatever you find undesirable and want to change without using a story or emotions. By using the five “W” words; why, what, when, where and who to your planning or desires. Use it, apply it, practice it until you simply plan without excuses, or self-doubt, or second guessing yourself or getting wrapped up in stories and emotions.
I’ll give you a general example. Let’s say I want to plan Thanksgiving. Why am I planning? I am planning for the Thanksgiving holiday. When? Two months from now on Thanksgiving Day. Where? At my daughters house one hour away. What? I will bring dessert, I’d like a new outfit, and would like to bring small gifts or plan activities for the children. Who? There will be eight adults and four children. And since I’m bringing dessert I know one loves pumpkin pie and another likes apple. No emotions involved, just a simple plan. I can now get out my calendar mark the date and make a list for the needed purchases I can pick up over the next couple of months.
Let’s say your planning for a new job. Why am I planning? I am in the process of getting a new job. When? My desire is to have a new job within the months. Where? Anywhere that is fifteen to thirty minutes travel time, one way. What? I will spend one hour or less today updating my resume and print off several. I will search the area for possible employment opportunities until I find one. Who? I will let others know of my search. I will use a hiring agency if necessary.
Notice how emotions don’t play a role when you use this formula. There is no talking yourself out of anything. It is action oriented versus emotionally driven. Give it a try. What do you have to lose, except the stress those negative thoughts create! Hooray!
Peace ~ Sandy
Copyright 2013 by Sandy Lucas