Freedom From Clutter

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How to Find and Keep Love!

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Hello and welcome back!

I am starting a new mini-series. I wrote a book and decided to condense the chapters, give you a small sampling, of what I wrote (FREE). I am sharing what I learned about love. Although this focus is on an intimate relationship, “How to Find and Keep Love”, like everything I write, these strategy’s and suggestions can be applied to all areas of your life. I hope you enjoy it! With that said… Have no fear, I will be back to focus, once again, on organization and living with efficient habits quicker than you can finish your to-do list! 

I found love later in life, age 49, and wanted to share what I did with anyone seeking love, whatever your age. The one major lesson I learned; you can’t change your situation without changing yourself or your approach. The following is what worked for me.   

The first thing is to write a list of at least ten must have’s you want in an intimate partner. If you’re at a loss, write out what you absolutely know you don’t want and figure out the opposite. Once you have your list, set out to be that person. That’s right you go first, you start the courtship. Like I said you have to change yourself or your approach to have something different. 

In your list, don’t pick something you can do for yourself, such as make you happy. It is unfair to give another the responsibility to change you or your moods. What you do want, however is a relationship that is compatible to your life style. Let’s say you want someone with a fit, trim and healthy, body, but you are sedentary and prefer the local burger joint to the gym.  This may not be the best combination. Or let’s say you are more of the homebody type, but you put on your list a socially active person. Be honest and ask yourself if you’re looking for someone to pull you out of your rut. Influence is very different than change. You may already be with someone who decides to get fit and that may influence you to get healthy yourself, but it isn’t the reason you got in the relationship. It would be better if you tried  something new or different before you assign it to a future partner. Sometimes we romanticize about something foreign to what we are familiar with, and sometimes there is a reason we haven’t pursued it. Set yourself up for success leave the fantasy behind and focus on what you are actually willing to participate in and what clicks with you today.  Also, by getting clear on your top preferences you avoid settling on a sort-of-maybe-kind-of match.  

If you want someone with a good sense of humor find ways to laugh every day. If you want a family oriented person, spend time with family or visit places where families frequent. If you want a healthy and fit person, get yourself on a healthy regimen. If you want a partner with an adventurous spirit start creating and fulfilling escapades now. Perhaps you want someone financially independent, are you? Maybe you want a partner who is confident, go tackle some of your fears and watch your confidence level soar. If you want romance, light a candle every night, listen to Barry White, buy a bouquet of flowers, indulge in a luxurious bath and read romance novels. Or linger over Love cards at the store and picture yourself feeling that way toward your partner. Remember, you need to change yourself or your approach to transform your situation from what you don’t want to what you do. Now, go tackle that list!

Peace ~Sandy

Copyright 2013 by Sandy Lucas

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